even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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