Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
It's 7am. I'm sitting on the curb in last nights clothes with a nose bleed and no idea how to get home. Low moment I feel.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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