everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Randomize
