nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
I'm at a bar that has girls so awful looking even you would not have sex with them.
Well... I doubt that.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Randomize
