Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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