hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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