It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
