margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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