She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
so, are you laying bloody on campus somewhere or did you go out after class and forget to let me know?
bloody. ill be home soon.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
