There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
