If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
