You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
