come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
my shit smells like andre
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Took 45 minutes to masturbate. Fuck you Zoloft. I'm never gonna be diagnosed with depression again
He's like Medusa, you can't look directly into his eyes or you'll turn into a slut.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
How long have I been using my debit card as a coaster?
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
