Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
Randomize