just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize