Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Randomize
