im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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