I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
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