thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Randomize
