Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
