I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Randomize
