How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Randomize
