We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
I'm having to shit out rocks
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
