dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Acid is not a monday night drug
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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