i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
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He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
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And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF