The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
If You’re Hot, It’s Easier For You To Do These 27 Things
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
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The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.