I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.