I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
Randomize
