You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
