Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
