Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
Randomize
