He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
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And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
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My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
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