In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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