in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
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