There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
