Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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