dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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