I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
She's better-looking with the mask on.
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