Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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