So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
I'm still finding big obvious chunks of condom around my car.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
Randomize
