I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I forgot wine drunk hurts
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
