The best revenge is premature balding
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
we gave you a glass of water and you just started yelling: TWO STRAWS, PATS AN ENGINEER HE'LL FIGURE IT OUT
Well yeah connect the two together, then you can lay down and drink.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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