ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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