am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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