Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Randomize
