I murdered the dance floor call the cops
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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