I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm naked, I'm drunk, and I'm all up on social media right now
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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