Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Randomize
