would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
Randomize
