I just pynch a tree in the face
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
