He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
