Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
Randomize
