where does the pee come out of this thing
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
