Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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