If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize