I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Randomize
