Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
