She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
