Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
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Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
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You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
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