whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
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In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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