i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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