Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Randomize
