Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
You know it's last call at a gay bar when the guys at the urinal are just jacking off in front of each other. Most awkward pissing moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize