Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I gave her a cheerful high five and she turned to me and said, "we should do that with our genitals." I may have to marry this girl.
Dude someone puked in a bowl n put it in the fridge. I thought it was salsa! Who does that?
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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