Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
