I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
The amount of 12yr olds downtown right now boggles the mind. I can thank taylor swift for a glimpse at my future 3rd wife.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
all I know is this drummer better stop eye fucking me while he plays cowbell. it is way too early for that.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
