My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
Randomize
