I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Randomize
