I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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